The electronic lock that protects my office door from the outside world decided to lose its battery while I was out of the office. Somehow, in the three minutes of my absence, without so much as a warning, my access to my phone, laptop, wallet, car keys, and (most importantly) coffee was stripped away.
I had never been in this situation before. A few things happened. First, I attempted to enter my personal code that I use everyday to unlock the door. Even though it hadn’t worked the first time, I assured myself that maybe I had been imagining the original experience. Much to my disappointment, the numbers did not light up nor did any sound become audible to indicate a shift in my fate. The lock batteries were, in fact, dead. Unable to cope with the reality of coffee being kept from me, I continued entering my code into the lifeless keypad. I must have tried it ten times. After awhile, I started frantically trying various combinations of numbers, then just pressing any and all numbers at the same time. All of this to no avail.
After my panicked attempts at resuscitating the clearly impervious lock, I stood in silence. I looked up – not a hundred percent sure why. It was just naturally what happened. If I’m being honest, in that moment of upward gazing silence, I felt really sorry for myself. All the pity feels sunk in full force. After all, what had I done to deserve this? I was working, doing what I was supposed to do, and on top of that, being cautious by securing the office when only stepping out for a minute! I didn’t deserve this.
What was I going to do? I was alone in my office. The holder of the non-electronic master key was incidentally out of town, and the only device I could use to call anyone was locked inside – with my coffee!!
To walk you through each step of the process that followed would take incredibly too much time and would probably lose your attention in the process. The thing is – you already know what I had to do. I had to ask someone, somewhere for help.
My regular resources were not available to me. The ways in which I normally communicate had been removed from my list of options. I had to think creatively and consult someone else on a solution to my problem, or else I would stay trapped in the lobby of my office building without my coffee for all eternity.
As I sat in a stranger’s office upstairs waiting on a phone call from a person whose name I wasn’t completely sure I was remembering correctly, insight struck me:
All of us have been locked out.
Losing someone you love suddenly.
Realizing your daughter is not the confident, carefree girl you once knew.
Experiencing a miscarriage.
Feeling heartbroken as a relationship ends.
Feeling trapped, constantly, in your own thoughts.
Never measuring up.
Each person has their own version of being locked out. When we encounter trials and difficulties in our own lives, we are oftentimes left feeling alone, staring at the sky in silence, feeling nothing but self-pity as we come to terms with the fact that all our resources and normal methods of communication have been instantaneously stripped away.
Like I pounded frantically at the keypad, pressing number after number, knowing all along there was no battery life to be found – we, too, try the same lifeless tactics over and over and over again. Doing so only drains us of the energy we could be using to come up with a new solution.
Just as I had to find someone else, anyone else, in order to get out of my lock-out situation, the only option in life’s lock-out moments is to get outside of yourself and choose human connection.
In isolation, the resources you possess are limited. In community, your resources are limitless.
As you’ve surmised by now, I eventually made it back into my office and thankfully, reunited with my coffee and other belongings. I could never have done so without the help of others and the unique resources they shared with me.
Therapy is one incredibly valuable way to begin the process of unlocking the door that is keeping you from whatever change awaits. I encourage you to reach out and begin the process.
If you’re feeling “locked out,” I offer a free 20-minute phone consultation. Call me at 754-300-6232 today.